Who’s my favorite?
Sunday, February 21st, 2010
What exactly is the right answer when one of your children asks: “Who do you love most?” Is there ever a right answer? I love to tell each of my children that of course they are by far my favorite one. That may be the only chance I have that one of them will take care of me in my old age.
But the truth is, I love Daddy best.
There are so many reasons I love my husband more than my children. First of all, I picked my husband. Of course we had to ultimately pick each other but he was the one I wanted. My kids: not so much. With kids you take what you get and hope for the best. While I love my children immensely, I do not always like them. I think of them more as an acquired taste, like anchovies.
My husband is my best friend. Even when he does something that drives me crazy, we can talk about it. I do not have to silently chant, “This is age appropriate” until the thoughts of homicide have passed.
I would never refer to either of my children as perfect. But I truly think my husband is perfect. I hesitate to use the word perfect without clarifying that he is the perfect husband for me. I mean, of course he is not perfect. But would I want him to be? His imperfections allow me to be imperfect myself.
Whilst I am the first to admit I am not the perfect mother, I really do believe that my husband is the perfect father. He has so many handy, diverse skills that I often panic at the thought of doing this parenting thing without him. I love my boys so much but not a day goes by that I am not convinced I am screwing them up.
My husband is just better suited for this parenting thing than I am. For example, I throw like a girl. I don’t really like to sweat or get dirty. I have a hard time peeing while standing up. I have a very low threshold for anything unpleasant (that includes vomit, whining, de-skunking the dog and anything involving rodents). On the other hand, my husband is more in touch with his feminine side than I am. He can cook like a chef, picks and arranges flowers and shops the farmer’s market like a pro. Plus he can sew buttons on and operate a sewing machine. He is sexy in his sensitivity.
I want to help my sons become decent men. I want so much for them to be the Renaissance man I consider their father to be. If my boys turn out half as great as I think their father is, their future wives will be lucky.
ABOUT THIS AUTHOR
Cathy Burke is a stay at home mom of two boys 6 ½ and 9, and a 20 year old stepdaughter. She writes to retain her sanity as well as to keep records of the fleeting years of childhood. Hopefully her writing will stand the test of time since she may never get around to putting any of her kids’ pictures into albums.
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Love this! What a lucky family.
This reminds me of my own perfect husband’s perfect response when our girls were jostling for superiority. “Actually,” he said in response to their begging to be deemed the favorite, “We don’t like either of you all that much.”
What a beautiful tribute to your husband! When I was growing up, I remember the distinct understanding that my parents’ marriage was first and foremost–they went on dates and we three kids always knew they loved us, but they needed to take care of their relationship.
My three sons are lucky because my hubby is a stay-at-home dad. Even though he might not always do things the way I would do them if I were at home, my boys are happy, well adjusted, and well cared for. He is the perfect husband for me, and the perfect dad for them. I feel very blessed indeed. Your post, though, is a good reminder of how important it is for parents to nurture their bonds to each other before anything else–it’s the foundation for the family.
I love this post. Excellent!
I might note that my dad (that’s who she’s talking about) is also a super-ninja. He through a knife at a mouse in the kitchen recently and got it right through the neck!
hehe
noooo, typo…. threw. Really, I can spell!