First there was shock, then came the thought, “Who will take care of his children?”

That was what went through my head when I heard that Michael Jackson had died.

I immediately thought of the woman who bore his first two children and hoped it would not be her. She was paid to be a surrogate, gave up her rights and from what I’ve read about her would rather raise horses than those kids.

According to several news reports she said something that she certainly did not have to share. Not now during such a painful time for his children. She said that Michael was not their biological parent.

He was their father. They knew him as Dad. Fortunately, the children are with his mother and his family. Hopefully their nanny, who has helped raise them for most of their lives, will continue in that role.

There is something else about the death of Michael Jackson that has bothered me. My own guilt and judgment about him in life and the almost saintly quality I’ve given him now that he is gone.

Death does that. Bad memories often give away to good, and they are what remain.