Posts Tagged Under Rebecca Elegant

May 18th, 2009

Mommy – It’s Time to Do Something for YOU

Motherhood is not a glamorous job and all too often lacks the recognition and respect it deserves.

Luckily, my mother rarely concerned herself with what others thought of her, but she did get tired. And she did wish she had some time to herself, maybe even time for a self-indulgent manicure.

When it got really bad, she would exclaim, “I’ve had it up to here” pointing almost to the top of her forehead. We never thought she would point to the very top of her head, although I believe it did happen once when she spontaneously left for a weekend in Aspen by herself.

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May 13th, 2009

High Expectation May Be Too High

Last Thursday I went to hear Madeline Levine talk about her new book called The Price of Privilege. She writes about an epidemic of depression, anxiety and substance abuse in children in middle to upper class areas, such as Marin.

Since my daughter is only two, I do not have experience raising an adolescent in Marin, but I do have a great deal of experience teaching adolescents.

Looking back on my high school teaching career, a major cause of this burgeoning epidemic is clear: the emphasis on performance rests at the heart of the problem.

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December 27th, 2008

Christmas Plus Hannukah Equals Christmakkah!

The holiday season will soon be over.

Then I will finally put away my “Christmakkah” decorations: the unobtrusive fake tree, which resembles more of an ornament holder, the driedel and Hanukkah menorah, the Nutcracker, and the evergreen garland that just had to do for that Christmas smell I love so much.

We ate or gave away all of the Hanukkah cookies my daughter and I made while listening to my favorite Christmas CDs. But now, I put away the conundrum that occurs every year in December and feel secure again in my decision to have a Jewish household.

The only time of year I question my conversion and raising my daughter Jewish is around Christmas, but I think that time of year presents some unrest for many Jewish individuals, even those who grew up in Jewish households simply because Christmas is so embedded in our culture. I have heard the Christmas tree debate and discussion many times and know many Jewish families that put a tree up in December simply because it’s festive, ignoring the true meaning of Christmas.

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December 20th, 2008

Kicks, Screams and Tantrums; Just Another Day For Mom

Picture this: a screaming, kicking two-year old wearing only diapers in thirty-five degree weather. Her frazzled, seven-month pregnant mother is holding her with one arm and with her other arm struggling to push the stroller filled with a diaper bag, shopping bags, and discarded clothes, and coats.

This was me last week as I left the once peaceful Goodnight Moon children’s store in the Town Center in Corte Madera. The fit happened over trying on clothes and I was unable to get her back in her original attire, so I had to take her out in only a diaper.

Upon exiting, I remember seeing an older man cringe irritatingly and put his hands to his ears as the cacophony of screaming child competed with the classical music. Shortly after, on that interminable walk to the car, a woman with whom I take an exercise class spotted me. She said, “You look great.”

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February 6th, 2008

Where the Time has Gone

One of the most common sentences I hear these days is, “I have to go potty, Mommy.”

We go when she has to go. We go when she doesn’t. We go no matter where we are or what we are doing. Sometimes I hear those words, and I cringe, “Again? Are you sure?”

I also hear, about five times a day, “Mommy, pretend that I’m Cinderella.” This requires that we change clothes into five different outfits because, just in case you have forgotten, Cinderella starts in her night gown, changes into her work rags, wears the pink dress the mice make, dons her blue dress for the ball, and then sports her wedding dress at the end.

Usually I’m facilitating costume changes while balancing a nine-month old on my hip and holding the phone with my shoulder. There have been days when I think that if I have to play the part of the handsome prince one more time, I might die of boredom.

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January 3rd, 2008

Advice

Motherhood is not a glamorous job and all too often lacks the recognition and respect it deserves.

Luckily, my mother rarely concerned herself with what others thought of her, but she did get tired. And she did wish she had some time to herself, maybe even time for a self-indulgent manicure.

When it got really bad, she would exclaim, “I’ve had it up to here” pointing almost to the top of her forehead. We never thought she would point to the very top of her head, although I believe it did happen once when she spontaneously left for a weekend in Aspen by herself.

My father had to come home from work early, and we were all a little concerned about her. Apparently she went for bike rides and enjoyed the outdoors, probably ordered room service or dined at an expensive restaurant without children fighting or dishes to do.

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September 9th, 2007

Alone

Sometimes, I feel like The Great Gastby who threw lavish parties and everyone came, but at his funeral very few people attended. Recently ,I threw an “End of the Summer Party,” which was a big success. I had been to enough three-year old birthday parties where every conversation was interrupted by a crying child, a spilled drink, a demand for cake. I decided it would be nice to get together with friends without the children and see people with whom I had been meaning to make plans all summer.

Everyone is so busy in the summer time with vacations and activities, and I’m no exception, especially since I have a new baby at home. This summer madness made me feel empty without connections. When I’d pick up the phone to call a friend, I worried that I might be bothering her and would often concoct reasons why not to call: it was dinner time, bath time, nap time. You name it, people where always too busy.

With Caller ID and the ability to see who is calling at all times, there is even less incentive to answer the phone if it’s not really important. I find that when I’m busy, which is much of the time, unless it’s a call I’m expecting, I often ignore it with the thought that I’ll call back later, when I have the time.

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August 21st, 2007

Bravery

Bravery

I’ve never thought of myself as brave. Dogs, even little ones terrify me. Riding horses is a torment I hope to never repeat again. I only cross streets where there is a cross walk and always wait for the walk signal; you never know when some crazy car will whiz out of nowhere.

With my vivid imagination I can conjure up the worst possible scenarios: the stranger who touched the hands of my two-week old baby in the grocery store may have a rare flu, incurable and potentially deadly. But something has made me question my cowardly character flaw: motherhood.

One of the bravest things I ever did was decide to be a mother. With kids every day, every outing feels like another act of bravery. For example, recently I left the relative safety of my home and took my new-born baby of only one month and my three-year old to the Disney Store.

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