Posts Tagged Under Lorrie Goldin
Guilt of the Well-to-Do
“No comprendo.” That’s what I want to say as Lupe pauses from cleaning the kitchen to tell me about her weekend. But between my fractured Spanish and her broken English, I understand all too well.
Besides, the meaning of a finger slicing across a throat is universal.
Fighting tears, Lupe tells me that her relatives fell victim to an attempted carjacking on Saturday. Her sister-in-law screamed when their assailants tried to snatch her baby, and Lupe’s husband and father-in-law were knifed and badly beaten. Continue… »
By Lorrie GoldinWhat Came First, The Grandmother Or The Egg?
I just became a grandmother. Pepita, as we affectionately call her, sleeps a lot, nestled in her bunny-bedecked bed. She is tiny, her head a perfect oval, as bald as an egg.
Maybe that’s because Pepita is an egg. My 13-year-old daughter just brought her home as part of Family Life’s attempt to prevent teenage parenthood. All eighth graders are charged with 24/7 responsibility for their hard-boiled infants. No overnight sojourns in the refrigerator next to the leftovers, no cracks or substitutions, no transformations into egg salad allowed. During P.E. or nights out on the town, a reputable eggsitter must be found. My daughter even has to read 20 minutes a day to Pepita. Unlike with real babies, no pages can be skipped, and the egg’s grandparents must vouch for this exemplary parental behavior in writing. Also unlike with real babies, the experiment with teen parenting lasts only five days, and no college tuition must be salted away.
By Lorrie GoldinPhone Home (But Maybe Not So Often)
Phone home. ET instinctively knew how to relieve stress. Now research confirms that if you reach out and touch someone, preferably Mom, you’ll feel better.
According to a recent study, girls aged 7-12 who spoke on the phone with their mothers when upset showed decreases in cortisol, the stress hormone, and increases in oxytocin, the chemical that promotes well-being. A phonecall is as good as a hug—just ask Ma Bell. Researchers speculate that the benefits also apply to older daughters, notwithstanding readers’ comments that hotly dispute the findings with countless variants of “HA! You’ve obviously never spoken to MY mother!”
By Lorrie GoldinDate Night with President Obama
Dear Mr. President,
We really need to talk. Is this a good time? I hate to disturb you when you’re so busy waging war and picking up your peace prize. You know, I’ve tried to make allowances, but I’m feeling a little bit taken for granted. We need a date night.
Seriously, Barack—may I call you Barack? I don’t mean to be presumptuous, but I feel I’ve earned first-name rights. After all, I did leave the safety of my blue bubble to travel to the gun-toting hinterlands on your behalf. I even learned to say Nevada , as in “adder,” just for you.
Speaking of snakes, how low can you go? It’s one thing to throw Jeremiah Wright under the bus, but gays? The public option? Civil rights? I know you’re always telling the girls, “Treat everyone with respect,” but must you grovel to Joe Lieberman and Ben Nelson? What have they done for you lately?
What I’m saying, Barack, is I feel neglected. Continue… »
By Lorrie GoldinRemembering Teddy
The Kennedys were gods second only to Roosevelt in the pantheon of my childhood home. So when I awoke this morning to the news that Teddy had died, I burst into tears.
I mourn not just the man, but the passing of an era. Kennedy stood as a bulwark against the meanness that has infected politics. His embodiment of public service is a stark refutation of those who have hijacked the truth and common purpose for partisan and personal gain. Kennedy believed that inherent to power and wealth is the obligation to serve those less fortunate. He cherished government as the sacred guarantor of fairness, security, and opportunity for all Americans, not just the privileged. Continue… »
By Lorrie GoldinFerberizing Your Young Adult
Emma slept through the night at seven-and-a-half weeks, and was a marathon napper through toddlerhood. I never had to contend with letting non-sleeping babies cry. I never needed to know about “Ferberizing.”
Ferberizing, named after its inventor, Dr. Richard Ferber, is a method of encouraging independent sleep by allowing a baby to cry for progressively longer intervals without excessive soothing. The real trick is to increase the parents’ ability to wait out their infants’ crying without rushing in to pick them up. Staunch adherents of the attachment parenting style promoted by renowned pediatrician Dr. William Sears view Ferberizing as verging on child abuse. Many exhausted parents swear by it, but warn that it is not for the faint-hearted: You have to be able to tolerate your baby crying, sometimes for long periods.
If Emma had been a poor sleeper, I would have been a faint-hearted mother who failed miserably at Ferberizing, unable to bear the torture of my baby’s distress. Continue… »
By Lorrie GoldinTop Ten Reasons to Clean Your Refrigerator
10. Rewards sloth—the longer you put off grocery shopping, the easier it is to clean!
9. No moral quandaries about whether discards are suitable for Goodwill.
8. Potential for discovering medical breakthrough growing on leftovers.
7. Possibility for weight loss if growth on leftovers results in food poisoning instead of Nobel Prize for Medicine.
By Lorrie GoldinChristmas Memories La La La La
It’s only summer, but already my mind is on Christmas past.
I’m the only one invited to the untrimming party. Soon Joni Mitchell’s Blue is blasting from the speakers as I bring up boxes from the garage and get to work dismantling Christmas.
But I’m not blue at all. I love taking apart the wooden train set and stowing away the brightly painted nutcrackers. I scrape melted wax from the mantel and toss withered cedar boughs into the fireplace. Scummy vases once overflowing with holly and white orchids get a good scrubbing.
California Politicians Need to Do The Right Thing
In the wake of the Special Election, Governor Schwarzenegger and other leaders should not be so quick to throw up their hands and declare that raising taxes is off the table because the people have spoken. Such an interpretation is inaccurate and irresponsible.
· NO to slashing funding for children and the mentally ill
Unattainable Ideals Offer Unrealistic Comparisons
The Society for Sex Therapists and Research recently released the greatest public service announcement in history. Perfectly satisfying intercourse between loving partners most often occurs between three and thirteen minutes. This does not mean that somewhere in America, someone—not you—is coupling every three to thirteen minutes, but that longer is not necessarily better. What a relief that marathon lovemaking is more myth than measure of intimate pleasures.
