Posts Tagged Under guilt

July 23rd, 2010

Guilt of the Well-to-Do

2752369651_b74d056e29_t“No comprendo.” That’s what I want to say as Lupe pauses from cleaning the kitchen to tell me about her weekend. But between my fractured Spanish and her broken English, I understand all too well.

Besides, the meaning of a finger slicing across a throat is universal.

Fighting tears, Lupe tells me that her relatives fell victim to an attempted carjacking on Saturday. Her sister-in-law screamed when their assailants tried to snatch her baby, and Lupe’s husband and father-in-law were knifed and badly beaten. Continue… »

By
read more
March 31st, 2010

Mommy Guilt

img_09545Guilt. Mommy guilt. Daddy died guilt. Always the guilt.

Each morning at 6 AM, Julian, 2, calls out, “Ma Ma. Ma Ma? Ma Ma,” and the race begins.

Ugh! I shouldn’t have stayed up so late.

Four kids, like newly hatched spiders, crawl up my skin. They nip at my arms, my shoulders, my feet, and I want to flick them off. I want five minutes, just five freaking minutes to make my coffee, before I get them ready for school.

“Clothes on, hair brushed, then come to the table for breakfast,” I command, but they continue to swarm, completely ignoring my orders.

“Ewwwwwww!” Tatiana, 8, screams, as she holds her Hello Kitty toothbrush an inch from my swollen brown eyes.
Continue… »

By
read more
June 29th, 2009

The Man in the Mirror

First there was shock, then came the thought, “Who will take care of his children?”
That was what went through my head when I heard that Michael Jackson had died.
I immediately thought of the woman who bore his first two children and hoped it would not be her. She was paid to be a surrogate, gave up her rights and from what I’ve read about her would rather raise horses than those kids.
According to several news reports she said something that she certainly did not have to share. Not now during such a painful time for his children. She said that Michael was not their biological parent.
He was their father. They knew him as Dad. Fortunately, the children are with his mother and his family. Hopefully their nanny, who has helped raise them for most of their lives, will continue in that role.
There is something else about the death of Michael Jackson that has bothered me. My own guilt and judgment about him in life and the almost saintly quality I’ve given him now that he is gone.
Death does that. Bad memories often give away to good, and they are what remain.

Continue… »

By
read more
Comments Off
March 17th, 2009

How Movies Put EVERYTHING into Perspective

Blood Diamond.

I stagger out of the movie theater with the newfound certainty that my life is pointless.

Why write blogs about my kids’ aggravating but endearing traits when African children are being snatched from their mothers’ arms and forced to commit unimaginable atrocities just to stay alive?

It seems indecent to obsess about SAT scores or worry about underage drinking in light of such horrors.

Continue… »

By
read more