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From California to Congo: A Mom on a Mission to Enact Change
Writing Mama Janine Kovac interviews fellow member Mindy Urhlaub in a profound and heart-rending piece.
“In the countryside, the air is very clean [but] the air outside my Goma hotel constantly smells acrid—like a cook fire. It makes your eyes feel like beef jerky.”
Mindy Uhrlaub, a Writing Mamas member is writing a novel about Congo, one of the most ravaged places on Earth. She writes about the devastation of a land, the oppression of a people, and the corruption within a country. It is a place where malaria is deadly instead of treatable, and where women are raped and mutilated and then ostracized for the crimes they’ve suffered. She writes about teen-aged mothers and the sick children who play in the dirt at their feet. She writes about the brave women who school the young mothers, feed the children and risk their lives by caring for their kin.
She isn’t writing a novel by choice; she writes a novel because anything but a fictionalized account of quotidian life in Congo will put the lives of these women in danger. Her research began 10 years ago after reading the book, King Léopold’s Ghost. What began as a passing interest has spawned two identities that feed off of each other: Mindy the writer who is inspired by activism in Congo and Mindy the activist who uses writing as her medium for change. Continue… »
By Janine KovacCherish the Love
It’s February 14 and 29 years since I lost my first pregnancy, already into my second trimester. My husband and I grieved in the days and months that followed, but the pain of that loss has never truly diminished, possibly because it occurred on Valentine’s Day, but more likely because our bubble of joy was literally shattered so suddenly.
Motherhood did eventually arrive, and with the birth of each of my three children, our lives morphed into the exclusive bubble that only close-knit families know so well. They are all young adults now, each one making us incredibly proud as they’ve taken flight, and pursued fulfilling lives of their own.
On this Valentine’s Day, however, my heart is in anguish. Medical diagnosis is days away, and pointers are prominently staring at a disease I am all too familiar with. It’s nasty, and it rears its ugly head with the freedom to flare at will, knowing there are no weapons of medical science to battle against it. Victims are left defenseless. There are few options to alleviate symptoms, and none can stop the advancement of the charge. Continue… »
By Ann JewettSo Not a Party Planner
Once again it is that time of the year. Which means it is two months past my daughter’s birthday.
She was born at the end of July however her birthday party (party being the ONLY thing that matters) is the first Sunday in October.
Who should I invite?
My personal feeling is to include everyone in her class, friends from her former classes and friends she’s had since she was three. Mimi is now nine (and two months).
Finally, I got it together, went on Evite, picked a “card” that she approved and wrote engaging copy. It did have a certain rhythm. Catchy! Inviting! Who could refuse?
Well, it’s one day and already I’m nervous. I invited more than forty kids! I’m so insane. It’s that not wanting someone to feel bad thing that I’ve been dealing with for years in therapy.
So now it’s more than twenty-four hours since I sent the Evite and I’ve only received five responses (all positive). What if the other thirty-five don’t respond? Worse – what if they do? How am I going to fit forty screaming kids into a small pizza parlor?!?!?!?! Continue… »
By Dawn YunHow to Organically Promote Your Book
Cindy Bailey is co-author along with her husband, Pierre Giauque, of The Fertile Kitchen® Cookbook: Simple Recipes for Optimizing Your Fertility. Promoting by the seat of her pants has helped propel their book to the top-seller list on Amazon.com and has gotten their story nationally televised. Cindy here and in future columns will be sharing her adventures, as well as hints and tips, for book promotions.
I usually do book promotions by phone and Internet–as much as I can get away with. It’s not that I’m anti-social; I’m just more comfortable operating solo from my little office in my little house. Or maybe I’m just addicted to the Internet. Or just lazy about getting out. I mean, with all the travel to and fro and the need to trade out my Adidas foam sandals for actual shoes, not to mention the makeup, well, it all requires more time!
I do venture out, though, once I’ve got a gig: a speaking engagement, workshop, meeting, launch party.
Yet there is so much power in just being out there. Doing face time. Continue… »
By Cindy BaileyRaising Children Without Religion
My dad is Lutheran, my mom is Jewish. My childhood exposed me to traditions from both denominations, but I certainly wouldn’t describe myself as religious.
Spiritual, yes. Religious, no.
At birth, I was given the Hebrew name “Chai,” which means life, but that’s as far as Judaism went. Sure, there were big Bar Mitzvah parties for my friends, but the only time my family lit a menorah was when we visited my grandmother’s house.
I do recall my dad’s Lutheran side of the family whispering nasty things about Jews, so I assumed my parents had come to some sort of understanding that religious rituals would not take place in our house, or maybe they just never spoke of it at all.
No, worship was not a part of my upbringing.
As for God, if he does exist, I’m still pretty angry with him. Witnessing the sudden death of my late husband, Erik, 29, on Easter Sunday of all days, would be enough to infuriate most people.
And, if there is a god, why would he condemn me for embracing my feelings? Or for questioning his existence?
By Hyla MolanderSee Mommy Run
I was running one of my favorite loops from our house: an easy lope down Baltimore Canyon, a straight uphill grunt on Barbara Springs Trail to snaking, flat, smooth Crown Road, then up, up, up Huckleberry Trail, until I was finally on top of Blithedale Ridge where I could see the ocean in one direction, Mt. Tam in another, the city another, and green everywhere. I relished every minute, having gotten a one-hour hall pass in the middle of an unusually busy Saturday morning – come lunchtime, we’d be hosting my husband’s soccer pals and their families for a barbecue. At last count, 20 grown-ups, 15 kids.
At the crest of the last hill, I took off my sweaty shirt and ran with it balled up in my fist. I realized I was pushing the clock, so I picked up my pace, which
meant I was hammering down the spine of the ridge, zoned-out, when two bikers came whizzing around the corner, nearly crashing into me. One of the men laughed and said, “Hey, we just wanted to meet you!” His buddy skidded to a stop next to him, watched me run by, and called out, “Whoooee! Nothing wrong with that!”
Blog news
For the next few months, we’re trying something new at the Writing Mamas website. Our founder, Dawn Yun, will hand off the duties of editing and posting blogs to three salon members. I’ll serve in the position in January, Claire Hennessey in February, and Li Miao Lovett in March.
I’m pleased to be able to give back something to the group that has given so much to me. When I joined some five years ago, I knew that I had a story to tell—a behind-the-scenes account of my daughter’s adoption from Guatemala—but I lacked the discipline and skill to tell it. Where to start?
“Just write 250 words,” Dawn said at the first Sunday night meeting I attended. “One page.”
By Jessica O'DwyerMarin Mommies
Living in Marin County, you can’t help but notice the sweet pheromones of the powerful women who prowl the streets. It’s Clan MILF vs. Clan Cougar, and every mom KNOWS to which clan she belongs.
Clan MILF meets at the Mill Valley Depot for coffee. Surrounded by her young, 3.5 blond-ish children (their hair might be a tinge of green from too much swim team at The Club) the MILF’s coffee cup is recyclable and re-useable, and her coffee beans are 100% happily grown by cheery, eager, South American farmers. Her muffin has no preservatives, no fructose, no flavor.
And her heart goes out to the children who have to wear clothes made from synthetic fibers, instead of 100% organic, sheep-chewed cotton. Oh, forget those plastic baby bottles filled with BPAs — she was an early adaptor and switched to Kleen Kanteen years ago, right after the fertility drugs kicked in.
Clan Cougar meets at Bungalow 44, Buckeye Roadhouse, and D’Angelos, or places just like them. Coiffed in her salon-fresh highlights and paralyzed forehead, the Cougar’s hyper-vigilance about raising her now high-school aged children has relaxed, unlike her brows, and she’s looking to fill some me time. Her first husband has been dumped and now she’s single, sassy and looking for a little more carnal fun.
Let the cleavage begin! Continue… »
By Annie YearoutWanted: Man for My Mom
I never expected my twenty-four year old daughter would pick up a man for me in a bar in a national park. So much for camping trips the way we used to have them back when she and her sister were kids and we sat around campfires roasting marshmallows.
“A girls’ road trip!” My daughter, Annie, boasted to her friends. “My mom and I are driving from Berkeley to Baltimore.”
‘In her Honda Fit no less,’ I thought. ‘It’ll be either great or terrible depending on whose music we’re listening to.’ Continue… »
By Marilee StarkDILDOS are My New BFFs
I have been happily married for more than ten years and I still have a great sex life with my husband. But lately I can’t get over my obsession with DILDOS.
I don’t mean sex toys. I’m talking about Dads I’d Like to DO!
I love my husband. Really. But I can’t help it. I fantasize about other men. In particular: Dads. They all hold a certain appeal. It could be looks, charm or a sarcastic sense of humor.
I think about them constantly. Continue… »
By Cathy Burke
