My Articles:
Trust and Gratitude
I have been on a spiritual path for some years now, and one of the things I have been learning recently is how to trust. Trust in a Higher Power, trust in the Universe, trust in myself.
Having gratitude has been an important factor in helping me to trust. Writing a gratitude list every day is supposed to be especially helpful. I say the list in my head rather than writing it down as I’m just too damn lazy! It doesn’t seem to matter though as I really feel like the magic is starting to work. Continue… »
Just Say No
Being a total people-pleaser all my life, the word “No” has hardly ever entered my vocabulary. I always thought it was better to say “Yes” to all the people in my life. I hadn’t understood until recently that I was actually being a bit of a martyr, rushing around doing what I thought were helpful tasks for other people and then being rather resentful when the recipients didn’t always gush with appreciation. I have come to realize I was actually being incredibly arrogant. Who was I to know what they wanted in the first place?
I am now making a conscious effort to stop worrying so much about other people and what they think of me, but old habits die hard. I did have a massive breakthrough the other day, however, when a friend from the UK came to stay. She was on a course in Los Angeles and said she would come and visit afterwards, although we had not arranged an exact day. I was on tenterhooks all week waiting for her call, but it was not until Friday at 5pm that she rang saying she was at LAX airport and about to buy a ticket to San Francisco, arriving at 9 pm, and could I come and collect her please!
A Crying Shame
I went to bed crying and I woke up crying. Why on earth was I so upset? The events of yesterday had triggered a huge emotional response in me.
I had woken up in a great mood, which just got better as the day wore on. The sun was shining and I jogged for the first time in ages. I worked for a bit. I had leisurely chats with friends back in England. I cooked a delicious meal which everyone enjoyed. I met a friend for a coffee and a catch up. I remember feeling so grateful and happy that all was well with my world.
Birth: What they don’t tell you!
When I became pregnant with my daughter, I was a front runner amongst my family and friends, so I had no clue what to expect. I have two sisters, the eldest of whom had sworn off having children and the youngest, being a Buddhist nun, was not likely to give me any support in this direction either.
Looking back now, I realize I had an effortless pregnancy, but at the time I was terrified about what was happening to my body and what the future held. I was in denial for quite awhile, until I went for my first scan.
There, on the screen in front of me, was this wriggly, maggot-like creature, which only looked sort of human. All I could think about was that film ‘Alien’ and the scene where it burst out of the woman’s stomach. Yuck!
As the birth date drew closer, I got fed up with lumbering around like a beached whale, not being able to bend over to pick something up, or put on my shoes. All I wanted was to get the little monster out of me. Continue… »
Valentine’s Surprise!
My first Valentine’s Day with my husband (or boyfriend, as he was at the time) was a rather strange affair. For starters, we were on the other side of the world from each other – he was in California and I was in the UK. With the time difference, it made it quite awkward as those eight hours can really screw with the romantic atmosphere!
We were communicating via webcam and Skype, but I thought I would make an extra effort for Valentine’s Day. So I spent ages having a shower, putting on make-up, getting dressed up in a skirt (and for those who know me, that is a rare occurrence!), even shaving my legs. Which was a bit daft as he could generally only see my top half on the webcam and certainly not in enough detail to tell if I’d got hairy legs. But I thought, what the hell, if it made me feel sexier then it was worth it.
Continue… »
Moving Across the Pond
We moved out to live in San Francisco from the U.K. a year ago, arriving in torrential rain—where was all the famous Californian sunshine?—overburdened with way too much luggage and high expectations.
There were three of “us”—me, my 13-year-old daughter and 11-year old son—and we were merging with three of “them”—my soon-to-be husband, his 15-year-old daughter and 19-year-old son. Oh, and a mad dog! Quite a household, as you can imagine.
During the first month, it was absolute chaos. In order to accommodate so many extra people into his existing home, my fiancée had to build a new bedroom for his son. It was sort of like a shed on the side of the house that we have since nicknamed “The Shack.” His daughter redecorated and moved into the dining room and my kids moved into theirs—empty, apart from peeling paint and a single bed. So, out we rushed to Ikea and back we staggered with half the shop, all beautifully flat-packed for us to put together at our leisure. Finally, after much swearing and cursing, a week or so later my kids had new beds to sleep on, new wardrobes to hang clothes in, and new desks to work at, while I ended up with blisters, cuts, and bruises. I vowed never to set foot in “that” shop again!