Monkey See, Monkey Poo

It’s a good thing there are three toilets in our home. At any given time there might be three small bums occupying each one. You see we have twin girls who are three-and-a-half and a son who is four. When one has to go, inevitably they all have to go. I realize this is a huge stage in their development. I did a small dance the first time I went to Costco and didn’t have to buy diapers. I’m just wondering when they’ll be able to do it all on their own…pull down their pants, go, wipe, flush, pull up their pants, wash their hands.

They are pretty good at everything but the wipe part, which I don’t really mind that much. It’s when they are all on the potty at once yelling for me to help them, not understanding that I can only wipe one tush at a time. It’s a bit frazzling. I often wonder how Kate Gosselin handled it. Imagine six having to go at once. I hope her two older daughters weren’t into the monkey see monkey do when their siblings were potty training. Maybe they were even old enough to help.

Anyway, it’s true what they say about repetition, repetition, repetition. If I had a dollar for the hundreds of times I’ve said (and will continue to say), “pull up your pants, flush, wash your hands,” my husband and I could go on a really nice vacation. I’m sure it will feel like a vacation when I no longer have to sit on the edge of the tub, requesting these steps from our kids.

Another surprising thing about potty training is what you find yourself saying. “Please don’t cry. I’m really sorry your sister flushed your pee, you can flush mine next time.” “No, you will never have a penis.” Or the things they say, “Mom, it looks like a banana! Please go away and let me do my business.” But do come back when I call you, so you can wipe my bum.”

These are their wonder years, discovering what they can do by themselves and being excited when they accomplish something they’ve been attempting to do for a while. Riding their trikes, putting clothes on by themselves, coloring in the lines. When it happens, their faces alight with pride and joy shines from their eyes, followed by exclamations of “I did it all by myself!” Without knowing it, those precious moments are gifts children give to their parents.

In the not to distant future, I hope, the day will come when they’ll race into the bathroom, do their business, wipe, flush, wash their hands and the only way I’ll know was because the bathroom light was left on or the hand towel was lying on the floor.

When will that be?

I wonder.