Who Are You Today That You Couldn’t Be Yesterday

In freshman gym class, it took me 13 minutes to run a mile. Drenched, red-faced, and doubled over dry heaving, I declared, “I’m not a runner. Not now and never, ever will I be.”

Now I’m 38 years old and have a six-month old son named Jake. I had fiercely kept my vow never to run, but walking I didn’t mind. While pregnant, I waddled the streets of San Francisco every day with my beloved iPod shuffling my emotions. Once Jake arrived, I kept on walking – now navigating a big orange stroller.

While cruising around Stow Lake one day, my phone rang. I exchanged my iPod for my phone to interview a potential nanny. When I hung up half an hour later, I looked for my iPod and my heart began pounding when I realized it was gone. Not just an iPod – but the device that held my lullabies.

Adrenaline kicked in and without thought, I started to run, retracing my path. To every person I shouted, “Did you see or find an iPod?” People were kind and sympathetic, but no one had seen it. I slowed to a walk, each step leaving a footprint of sadness, when suddenly, I had a realization; I had run a mile – pushing a stroller no less. Consumed with finding the iPod, I hadn’t noticed that I broke my sacred vow never to run.

Well, that was bizarre.

Maybe it was one of those freaky adrenaline incidents – like when the mom lifts the car off her child, except in this case, I was rescuing an electronic good. At home, I relayed the story to my husband. In a sweet gesture, he bought me a new iPod that afternoon and said with a wink, “For your walks, or if you ever consider picking up the pace again.”

A week later, Jake and I were out for a walk and a little thought shimmied through my brain – maybe I can run. So I bent down, locked the front wheel of the stroller, searched for a pump-it-up song on my brand new iPod, and I started to run. I didn’t stop for nearly 30 minutes.

It wasn’t effortless. I was breathing hard and sweating even harder, but as I settled into a rhythm, I also felt powerful, like I was floating. My heart filled with the elation of experiencing my body in full throttle. I peered down to see Jake’s reaction and I was thrilled to see that he sported the same goofy grin that I did. If it cost a $300 iPod to not only discover this feeling, but to debunk something I was sure to be true about myself, well that was a damn good deal.

Who are you today that you said you could not be yesterday?

I am a runner.