A Bit of Magic

As the soon-to-be mother of twin girls, I joined a Twins Club a couple of months before their arrival. It was a great way to meet other moms of multiples. As a relatively new mom, I joined hoping I could learn from them the ins and outs of having twins, what to do, what not to do, plus members bring dinners to new moms and their families! Our adopted son was just eight months old when his sisters were born, so it was like having triplets. At least he was sleeping through the night, so I only had to do late night feedings for two, instead of three.

What I was not prepared for during initial Twins Club meetings was moms talking about their pregnancies. Three years prior I experienced the loss of our son due to premature birth at six months gestation. Because of health reasons, I was unable to carry the girls, but was fortunate to have an amazing sister who carried them for my husband and me. While I was extremely thankful for the gift my sister gave us, it was difficult to be around the group of moms when discussions turned to, “How many weeks did you go?” or “Did you have to go on bed rest?”

While I was not timid about sharing my adoption/surrogate story, it made me uncomfortable to listen to other mothers talk about carrying their twins, as it was something I could not do. Before the loss, I did feel the flutter of our son’s first kicks in my belly. It was magical.

But time goes by and I am no longer the novice mom. Rather than being on the receiving end of dropped off dinners, I’m the one stopping by with homemade lasagna and, hopefully, a few words of wisdom for sleepy eyed moms who wonder when their twins will start sleeping through the night, quit crying when they are being changed, and when will the spit up smell go away?

While I will never forget my son, I am at ease now around moms when they discuss their pregnancies, and I am interested in their experiences, instead of feeling like I missed out. Everyone’s birth story is different and the stories of how my children came into my life are truly wonderful. Given the challenges we overcame on our journey to becoming a family, I believe there is a bit of magic involved in having children.