Could You Survive After Being Shot 15 Times?

Abelina Magana a mother of three

Abelina Magana knows something you and me will never know.

She was shot 15 times and lived to tell.

During the nearly half-hour it took her husband to shoot her repeatedly, she thought only of her three children. The last words she remembered saying to her daughter were: “Mommy will be okay.”

Abelina awoke about a week later in the hospital. Tubes covered nearly every orifice of her body. During her almost yearlong stay in the sterile institution, she was told she would never breathe on her own. She did. They said Abelina would never feel below her neck. Today she can move her arms and has sensation in her toes. They said more than once that she would die.

“They didn’t know me,” she says with a laugh that radiates a special kind of beauty that can only come from deep within.

When Abelina first learned of the extent of her wounds and her poor prognosis, she is a quadriplegic, one word played like a Mobius Loop in her mind — why?

Hard times had been such an integral part of her life that the question seemed almost a luxury. Her beloved father was murdered in her native Mexico when she was four. Childhood was robbed from her and her eleven siblings as they each took jobs to help their single mother. By the age of 12 she was managing a store. At 19 she moved to America with Abraham, a man who was 11 years older, educated and sophisticated, and who would became her husband.

There were good times. There were also awful ones. His rising temper, that insatiable need of his to always know where she was, the way he tried to keep her isolated and without friends. He exhibited the classic signs of an emotional and physical abuser. Being so young and living in a foreign land away from her family and with three small children to raise, Abelina knew only optimism. It had carried her so far for so long.

When she first moved to America she cleaned houses for years. Then she thought — instead of cleaning homes, why not sell them? She went to school and became a successful realtor at Frank Howard Allen Realtors in Novato.

Her children, now young teens, were doing well in their studies and they had an upscale lifestyle. They appeared to be living an immigrant’s dream of America until that fateful day in 2007 when Abelina’s husband tried unsuccessfully to kill her but only succeeded in killing himself.

In the infirmary, Abelina used her remarkable outlook to help remake herself. On the outside she would remain physically challenged but inside she was free because never again would she let anyone abuse her or try to diminish her soul.

In the hospital she gained a reputation as someone who could lift the spirits of others. Her smile. Her laugh. Defying the limited expectations of medical experts, she showed other patients what could be gained despite what they had lost.

Doctors placed her bed next to a man who had given up all hope, praying for death. “How many times were you shot?” Abelina asked him. “Twice,” he barked. “I was shot twice, man.”

“Wimp,” Abelina sniffed. “I was shot 15 times.”

The man stared at her hard. “Sister, I ain’t got nothing on you.” The two became tight and with Abelina’s help, his health and outlook improved.

Today, Abelina has a passel of close friends who care about her. She and her three children, two in high school, one in middle school, rent a home in Novato. There are ramps at the front door to accommodate her wheelchair. The house is pleasant, but threadbare.

“The children know not to ask for anything,” she says quickly. Abelina receives just over $1,500 a month from the government to cover housing and basic living expenses. An organization brings bags of groceries each week but with three teenagers, it’s never really enough. “I don’t know how we make it,” she admits, staring through a window. She attends physical therapy several times a week. Attendants help her dress, comb her hair, apply her makeup, and place Abelina in her wheelchair.

Her goals are to one day walk, drive her own van, to be able to work again, and something that most of us take for granted: Abelina wishes her bathtub had a door so she could open it and take a shower alone. She dreams of small moments of privacy.

Abelina corresponds with the world through her iPhone and iPad. She is the only person I’ve ever met who can text and carry on a conversation without making you feel slighted. The woman has elevated multi-tasking to a new, unknown galaxy.

As outwardly happy as she seems, doesn’t she ever get down? “Sure,” she says. “But you’ll never see it. I know what it’s like to have everything taken away. That’s why I always smile.”

But how does she make it seem so easy? “That’s simple,” she says with that radiant smile. “I’m a bitch.”

“You’re not a bitch at all,” I say. “You’re fiercely determined. And — you’ve got the biggest cojones of any person I’ve ever met.”

Before she finishes laughing she has already texted several friends. I hug her and leave knowing I have just met someone who has changed my life forever.

Abelina Magana was the beneficiary of the Mama Monologues fundraiser on November 18 at the iconic book store Book Passage in Corte Madera, California.  The Mama Monologues was completely SOLD OUT!!! People were sitting in the cafe, standing in the aisles, there were those lucky enough to have chairs, while others sat on the bleachers. Abelina read an awesome, inspiring and deeply touching monologue about her experiences, while The Writing Mamas  performed their real- life, LOL tales of parenthood. Special guest honorary Writing Mama, Kelly Corrigan read from her New York Times bestseller, “The Middle Place.” She was hysterical!  The parents enjoyed Napa wine — it was a must — and incredible Puerto Rican cuisine from Sol Food, Marin County’s hippest restaurant. It was a special night for all who attended,  but mostly because we were able to raise thousands of dollars for Abelina.

If you would like to make a contribution to Abelina and her family, please send a check to: Attn: The Magana Family Fund, Bank of Marin, 1450 Grant Avenue, Novato, 94945. Thank you!!!