Mad for Mad Men
Wednesday, December 16th, 2009I love the television program “Mad Men” for as many inexplicable reasons as its complicated story lines.
First, Don Draper is hot! That is once I can get past the thought that he resembles my dad in his high school football player photos. Second, Joan the receptionist is real — a strong woman at work, a weak one at expressing her needs in her relationship, and one of the only women on television that you can admire for not looking like a half-starved refugee from an Edvard Munch painting. Third, NOBODY is socially aware at home or at work which makes for an enticingly ignorant way of life.
In Betty Draper’s world, a wife and mother are NOT expected to do it all. 
She completely lacks the internal dialogue that she may not be doing enough as a mother. I envy the thought of telling my child to go watch television because I want to be alone without one of those self-righteous child psychologists echoing the detrimental effects of staring at the tube in my ear. Betty unapologetically tells her son, “Only boring people are bored,” without a flicker of guilt that the child could internalize her statement, act out, and become a serial killer to avoid boredom.
As a wife, Betty’s choices of Swedish meatballs or chicken salad for dinner take a lot of the planning effort away. If they were in the “Better Homes” plaid cookbook or in the recipe box you inherited from your mother, then you were good to go. No gourmet, locavore, organic ingredients to have to contemplate. Forget the most recent “Top Chef” or Food Network Star putting unreasonable ideas in your head that take three days to shop for at four different markets and five hours to prepare.
Lack of choice can make choices so simple.
Of course, there is always a down side and Betty seems to be going out of her mind in her unquestioning world. Her feeling of isolation resulting from the inability to articulate personal needs seem to transcend all characters and all decades. Yet, I get to sit on my couch and watch it without having to live it.
Although I would never accept my role as a woman in the workplace at the time of Mad Men, I find myself being drawn in by the liberation of simplicity, especially gender separation. In the world of fictional television, it is freeing to think of a workplace without so many struggles. I worked in a male-dominated field and I was always fighting for something, namely equality. At Sterling Cooper, the staff has predetermined communities. Women gather to talk about men and men gather to talk about women. Although shallow, it was easy to have an automatic community. In this century, it is tough to create one within a workplace. It takes a lot of attempts to find commonalities with people at work and then more effort to develop those relationships without offending anyone and incurring a visit from a human resources representative.
It is like poor Peggy, trying to break the mold and being ostracized from both communities; unable to talk about the people in offices with the women because she is one and unable to talk about the women at the desk in front of the office because she has one.
She’s working harder than everyone at her job, has no community for support and is certainly unable to mentally support a job at home. She is engaged in a constant struggle trying to break barriers, fight for equality and she is still unable to mix in sexuality without seeming like she is begging for a promotion.
Mad Men allows me to live one hour of uncomplicated fantasy, imagining a life where the choices that I love aren’t available to me. There is something seductive about the thought of not being so exhausted, especially by my own internal dialogue.
I just may go back to work if it includes a daily Martini at the staff meeting.
tagged under: Don Draper.equality.Jennifer O'Shaughnessy.Mad Men.martiniABOUT THIS AUTHOR
Jennifer O’Shaughnessy grew up in a small town in Southern California. She graduated from the University California San Diego and worked as a scientist of molecular biology in San Diego and San Francisco for ten years. During that time, she co-authored 16 papers published in many prominent scientific journals.
13 Comments
subscribe comments feedLeave a Reply
- A Clock Ticks As A Mom Tries Not to Be Pissed (24)
- When Will People See? (13)
- Mad for Mad Men (13)
- Togetherness Is Nothing Like Being Alone (11)
- Marin Mommies (11)
- Doggy Does Facebook (10)
- A Stranger's Note of Love and Grief Reminds a (9)
- Just Who is Nursing Who? (9)
- What Are We Fighting For? (9)
- Mom is a Coffee Junkie, Her Son Is Addicted t (8)
Great piece!
Well said! I have thought before that all the choices are way too overwhelming, but wouldn’t give them up either. I have also thought of my mother telling me, “I never played with you,” and wondered how freeing that must have been. She must have missed a lot of of opportunities to laugh with us and a wouldn’t give those up now either.
Wonderful piece! Well written and thought-provoking. It is the working woman’s struggle today. We have abundant choices, greater liberation, but along with that comes greater responsibility and far more complex roles - at work and in society. A martini at a staff meeting might just help! (ha!)
Nice post. I’m one of those people who realize the impact of the new gender roles since I’m a SAHD.
This is a wonderful piece. Such astute commentary on a show that is itself an astute social commentary. I hope you submit it someplace.
As an aside about Mad Men–yesterday at an annual all-hands meeting at my work, a younger colleague said he loved Mad Men, in part for the period costumes. A middle-aged woman staffer piped up with, “Some of us have those “costumes” still hanging in our closet.”
Great piece and I appreciated your commentary on how “simple” it was to raise children in the fifties without the pressure to be “super moms.” But I remember the first time I watched Mad Men and I became depressed, because the show took me right back to a time I remember when women had so few choices. Maybe we could shoot for a balance: more choices for women and less over-parenting.
Loved it! Thanks for another insightful piece, Jennifer!
Fantastic piece, Jen!! So terrific to be reading your work again. I love it.
Love it Jen!!
A fantastic angel on a great show. I love your approach, perspective and of course, your amazing sense of humor! Rock on Sister!
Good to see you back in the saddle! Keep it up and continue to cast your amazing point of view over your writing topics. It results in truly intertaining , and often hysterical, pieces. John
The whole piece is both fun and contemplative, and the the last sentence is truly a gem! Love it.
having often compared parenting, marriage and work notes with my grandmother, i came to fully appreciate the life opportunities i was able to choose from everyday. i too admire the simplicity though of a narrower path to travel as this day and age clings to its multi-tasking ways.