Wanted: Man for My Mom

Wednesday, November 25th, 2009

I never expected my twenty-four year old daughter would pick up a man for me in a bar in a national park. So much for camping trips the way we used to have them back when she and her sister were kids and we sat around campfires roasting marshmallows.

“A girls’ road trip!” My daughter, Annie, boasted to her friends. “My mom and I are driving from Berkeley to Baltimore.”

‘In her Honda Fit no less,’ I thought. ‘It’ll be either great or terrible depending on whose music we’re listening to.’

Our idea was to camp and stay in motels depending on our mood and budget. We planned on hiking, rafting and seeing lots of animals. Our first stop was Yellowstone National Park, but after a couple of days of camping, Annie had had enough of our cooking.

We found a restaurant, and while I went to wash up, Annie put our name on a reservation list. When I returned I couldn’t find her in the crowd of people waiting for tables.

“Hey, Mom, over here,” Annie waved to me from the bar where she was sitting with two older men. “Oh, my God,” I thought. “We’re only two days into this trip and these dirty old men are picking up my daughter! Who’s taking care of whom here?”

As I approached the bar I got a closer look at the men. They appeared to be my age, late fifties, early sixties. One was quite attractive with graying hair and a sexy smile, but I couldn’t help wondering, “Where are their wives?”

I sat down on a stool next to my daughter. After the usual, where are you from questions, I learned that the two men were brother-in-laws and the one with graying hair was recently divorced.

“Mind if I join you?” the divorced one asked me. He was tall and lanky, wore cowboy boots, jeans and a blue flannel shirt. Suddenly shy, I managed to finally say, “Sure,” and then felt even more awkward, because I’m supposed to be the mom sitting at the campfire with my daughter, not the mom picking up men at a bar.

I had maps for hiking in the mountains, but not maps for this.

The man moved over to the stool next to mine. His brother-in-law stayed where he was. After all, he was the married one.

Before long we had maps spread out and were trading stories of places to go and things to do.

Annie kept smiling as she watched me talk with this man. “Flirting!” She accused me later. “You could have flashed him your Senior Park pass!”

It had been a long time since I had flirted with anyone and certainly never in the presence of one of my daughters! Recently I had quit drinking so Annie had ordered a tonic with lime for me before I got to the bar. As I talked with the man in the blue flannel shirt, I kept wishing I could pour gin into my tonic. I mean, how do you pick up men at a bar, or anywhere for that matter, without a little gin? Something’s wrong with this picture, I thought. My daughter looked like the adult calmly sipping her martini and I looked like the crazed teenager, flirting with someone I had just met and probably would never see again.

Later that night, Annie and I giggled in our tent under the stars as we re-hashed the day which we had begun by hiking up a beautiful mountain singing crazy songs to keep the bears away. But our conversation kept moving away from wild flowers we saw that morning to the wild men we met in the bar that night.

“Mom, he had too much baggage for you.”

“What do you mean? He’s divorced. So am I.”

“Yeah, but he’s recently divorced,” Annie, said. “That’s a red flag.”

“Oh come on….” I said and then stopped myself knowing Annie was probably right.

“Well, at least he was cute!”

“Yeah, he was. I figured you’d like him.”

“Wait a minute! Did you pick him up for me?” I was flabbergasted.

“Kind of. I figured he was your type, you know, outdoorsy and all. I told him I was waiting for my mom, but I never expected you’d want to go home with him.”

“Oh, give me a break. I wouldn’t do that…” I hesitated, “But I do wish I had gotten his phone number!”

“He tried to get yours. But once they called our table you practically ran out of the bar.” My daughter looked at me with empathy. “You’re a little rusty, aren’t you?”

“But he introduced himself right when they called our table,” I protested.

“Mom, forget it!”

“Well, there’ll be others along the way,” I reasoned.

“For you or for me?” Annie smiled.

“Both!” I said.

Our road trip had officially begun.

tagged under: Add new tag.Baltimore.Berkeley.gin and tonic.Honda.Marilee Stark.mother-daughter road trip.pick-up men.Yellowstone National Park